SantArchy Orlando 2009
Orlando Santarchy 2009 is here!
When? Saturday, December 19th at 7pm
Where? Pine Street Bar Downtown Orlando located at 68 E Pine Street at the corner of Pine and Magnolia or email Santa if you want to attend the happy hour at Santa's Downtown North Pole beforehand
Want to help plan this year's Santarchy? Then contact Santa NOW!
Santas sing, give gifts, joke, and march around Lake Eola then hit the downtown entertainment scene.
******Download the SantArchy Naughty Carols Below*****
Why? That's right kids, it's that time again. SantArchy is coming!!! Santas are cheerful, bawdy, prone to singing naughty Christmas carols, and protesting crappy Christmas parties.
History: SantArchy takes place in major cities all over the world involving tens of thousands of Santas. It is a non-profit, non-political, non-religious & nonsensical celebration of holiday cheer, goodwill, and fun. There is no good reason to dress up in cheap Santa suits, run around town, give gifts, sing songs, have strangers sit on our laps, and decide who is naughty or nice -- but it's a lot of fun -- so Santa does it anyway. Everyone loves Santa and Santa loves everyone!
What is SantArchy? It's a world wide phenomenon! Get more info on the history and other locations here:http://www.santarchy.com.
Press (2008)
Orlando Sentinal,"Don't miss: Santarchy"
Orlando Metromix Special, "SantArchy"
DOWNLOAD THE Orlando Santarchy 2008 Naughty Carols
| orlando_santarchy_songs_2008.pdf |
Santa's Rules:
Be Jolly.
Holiday apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. If you don't have any money, be creative. If you don't have any creativity, slap yourself three times and ask your mom to help you. Glue cotton balls to red long johns. Make it purple. Make it pink. Make it plaid. Already have a Santa suit? Bring spare parts for the Santafication of strangers. Past examples: Santa Claws, Santa Garcia, Santa's naughty little helper, misfit toy, elf, grinch, angel, Jesus, snowman, nutcracker, reindeer. Shit -- last year we had a chicken, a panda, a bunny, and a french monkey, so we're pretty flexible here. (list of resources on this page)
Twisting the holiday paradigm until it screams for mercy is fun! Getting arrested is not. Santa Claus is friendly, respectful, and cooperative with cops, security guards, park rangers, and store owners and doesn't break any laws!!! "Disorderly Conduct" is not a city in China. Have your own special twisted fun, but DON'T FUCK IT UP FOR THE REST OF US. Our santas do not destroy property, steal merchandise, or do harm to others. The authorities and local businesses usually take Santa's antics in the loving holiday spirit Santa intends, so be nice to them.
Santa's Reminders:
The "schedule" is open to liberal interpretation by Santa at all times. Unlike many cities, Orlando has no pre-planned list of stops (it's Santarchy, not santa-barcrawl). There is no Santa in charge to call. If you can't show up for the start, get the cell number of someone who can help you catch up later.
Santa does not make children cry. Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. (Feel free to abuse their parents.)
Santa dresses for all occasions. It's December. Smart Santas wear mutliple costume layers. Dress to maximize merriment whether singing christmas carols in the snow, or swinging from a stripper pole.
Watching Santa get drunk and obnoxious is fun. Babysitting Santa while they vomit in an alley is not. Don't be that Santa.
Pay your own god damn bar tab. Tip the bartenders generously for putting up with us.
Memorize these answers to important questions that may arise:
Who's in charge? "Santa"
What organization are you with? "Santa"
What are you protesting? "Shitty holiday parties"
(note: WE ARE NOT PROTESTERS!! We'd need a permit for that - and something serious to complain about...)
How did you get here? "A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer"
Where are you going next? "I'm only allowed to tell you if you wear this hat and buy me a beer."
Any other question: "HO!" (best coupled with a slight pause and a stupid look on your face).
